Don't Try -- Do!

If you want something, you have to make it happen. It bothers me when I ask someone to do something and they answer, "I'll try." I never know whether it's going to happen or not.

Saying you'll try to do something, rather than saying you will do it, indicates that you're not confident you can make it happen. You're starting out with a disadvantage.

There is no such thing as trying to live like a better person. You either do it or you don't. If you're trying, you've put something or someone else in charge of whether or not to succeed.

When you're trying, you can't be doing. To say you'll try to do something is to say that you'll engage it in a struggle, that you're willing to wrestle with it. It has nothing to do with whether it will happen or not. All trying does is give you an excuse in case you want to abandon the project for some reason.

In some circles "try" is a dirty word. When people hear it, they roll their eyes and assume the thing isn't going to happen. They don't trust people who use the word "try" to get anything done, because such people obviously don't trust themselves or really don't want to do it in the first place. People who try keep themselves stuck in the process of moving toward something, and if they're stuck there, they can never reach their goal. The process of trying and the process of completing are two different things.

The first question people ask when I say this is, "But how do I stop trying?" They are starting to hear all the negative person's old tapes:
"You can't do that."
"Hah! I've heard that before."
"You know you can't be trusted."

It's like a computer program that comes rolling out of your mind. The only way you can stop it is to reprogram the computer. Put in disks that say, "I'm going to do it. I'm going to make it happen."

Say to yourself, "From this moment on I'm a better person. I think like a better person, feel like a better person, and behave like a better person." Note the "better person" because this can apply to anything you want to accomplish.

Just let that change happen inside you, without going back and thinking or worrying about it. Allow yourself to be better right now. If you look at it for a moment, you'll see that there's really very little you can do. Being better is more a statement of what you're being than a question of what you're doing.

You're the one who has to make it happen. You're the only one who can. When you say, "I'll do it," rather than, "I'll try to do it," you burn your bridges behind you. There's nowhere to go except in the direction you've chosen. Just doing it can make you your strongest ally.


29 Comments:

jam said...

My boss once also expressed his nasty side to me when I said "I will try my best".

BK said...

I have changed since many years ago on using "I'll try." Instead of that, I will say, "I'll do my best" now. This reminds me of a quotation from StarWars by Master Yoda, "Do or do not, there is no try."

Jena Isle said...

Yes, as master Yoda said: "Do, there is no try!" . This is when the young Luke Skywalker could not lift his "plane" with his mental ability. We should believe first that we can, before we could succeed. "What the mind can conceive , the body could achieve!" Very common cliche'.

Your post has said it perfectly and clearly. Thanks for sharing.

Tyson Chaney said...

When I say "I'll try," I mean "I don't want to do it but I don't want a confrontation either. What you're asking isn't important enough to me to commit to doing well. It also doesn't mean enough to me to complain or refuse outwardly. If it's convenient for me, I'll do it and you should be grateful for the favor. If not, I won't and you shouldn't be upset since I didn't promise you anything."

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Muhamad Rahman said...

you're absolutely right..

Sandy said...

While I agree in part with what you've said, one can not ask more than someone trying their best. One can not always be successful; but if you give it your best that needs to be good enough. People not accepting failure has lead to much depression, loss of self esteem, and in general unhappy dissatified people. Parents put sometimes way to much pressure on their kids. Trying is good, trying hard is better; not trying isn't acceptable.

Sometimes trying one's best still doesn't get it done; sometimes other factors get in the way; like time, unforeseen circumstances.

Interesting, thought provoking post.
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Agnes said...

I agree completely. The result of doing something is having done it -- the result of trying is having tried (aka no result).

sundcarrie said...

Well I disagree with you. I think I will try is great especially when it is a starting point for something you are uncomfortable learning to do. And let me tell you some things some people can never do well. I tried sewing I know I will never be good at it but because I kept trying I can do a decent job working with some materials. I have never been able to cut things straight but during the process of trying I found some tools that help me.
On the other hand if you always say I will try there may be a problem. This was just a hobby I wasn't sure I could do.

Andy Koehn said...

Ironic. I put a quote up on blog...so similar. Question: How many of us buy into this...but don't DO anything about it? Very nice...

(FYI: Here's my post:
http://thirtyseconds.tumblr.com/day/2009/04/26

ilovehateamerica said...

Just before reading your post, I and my friend were talking and I have been telling him things , saying "Do it" and he answered, "I'll try" . I said again, "Do it, don't try it" I hate to hear those words , "I'll try" when you know it's coming from a person who you know can do it.

Tomas Karkalas said...

Good post. It deeply touched me and my visions were tested greatly: while rewriting all you have written with my own heart and applauding the hot,I smiled painfully - my "doing" is my "I would do" IN CASE somebody would support me with the needed tools... The above may sound confusing, yet such is the reality of the jobless disabled, who is bold just to dream, yet have no chance to get what he needs for the embodiment of his feelings... unfortunately, it's very costly to share the images of the beauty for a free with all on our road...
I want to do, yet my situation humbles me and I confess: I will do IF I will meet the benefactor who will equip me for the road.

Nao said...

Awesome post here, we get alot of people that say that here and we wonder why the country doesn't get any where.

Horatio said...

Sounds like blatant self-help word-play to me. The word "try" can mean a number of things, but no less can it be used to express the fact that, "I may or may not have the capacity to accomplish this task, but that won't stop me from attempting to do so." That's good! Trying is good. Success isn't a state of mind.

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Jong said...

you've got a point there. Well, but at east you have than not tried at all..But the best thing to say is this, "I'm going to do it and i know for sure that i can do it!" and that's the spirit!

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Vagabond Sean said...

Live in the moment.

If you always say I WILL do, or be you will always be searching for it. Affirmative, in the present statements like, I AM DOING, help tremendously.

The Strangest Secret, By Earl Nightingale has been a blessing for me for 7 years now.

Tales of a Vagabond

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Sherri @ Luv a Bargain said...

I am going to read this to my children tonight. What an inspirational post:) Thank you!

artbytomas said...

Thank you for the wonderful post. I put down your words "When you're trying, you can't be doing" into my notebook as a shield against the laziness that crowds in time from time.

A father said...

Great motivational post. Cheers

BigDaddyRichard said...

Interesting...very reflective of a strict character!...yours?!

Natalie said...

It's about trusting yourself and respecting yourself (and thus respecting other people) :)

Dav DiDi said...

Very good one! i always say to myself try ... and at the end, no getting anything from the 'try'